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Monday, October 09, 2006 @ 9:51 AM She arrived at home at half pass ten, feeling a little exhausted after work. Before that she had a teh tarik at Kluang station with him, it felt so great, unsure whether was it the teh tarik's effect or his company with her after the whole day of standing. Then, there he was waiting outside of her house. She carried Sushi, her Jack Russell from the back to the front porch. Sushi was always so happy and excited when it comes to taking her for a walk. She was even more thrilled when she saw him outside. The feeling of innocence and joy, she thought. Together, they walked towards the park nearby, the surrounding was dark and silent, but the cooling breeze made the weather perfect to be in. He stood next to her as she walks slowly, and Sushi pulling the leash away from her hand, as if Sushi was walking her and not the other way round. Although they did not talk much, but they enjoyed the silence. She felt so different today, she could tell that she was a lot braver than yesterday. She sensed that some thing's gonna happen, and she's ready for the answer. However, there were doubts and uncertainty spinning all over, like, 'What will happen? What will it be like?' 'How'll other people see us? How's she gonna say 'bout me?' As for him, he also enjoy the company, at the same time he was feeling a little nervous. He kept finding reason to look for a bench so that they could sit and talk, but unfortunately all the benches were wet. Ah, that explains the cooling breeze. To his disappointment, the best chance had just slipped through his fingers. But it was already late and he knew they had to go home already. She knew something was going to happen, but it seem that there was no opportunity for it to happen. Maybe she thought it wasn't going to happen, so she told herself, if it did, she knew how to react and how to start expressing herself. She had been trying to so hard to shut her feelings away, she knew it was wrong, it was impossible, just no way they could be together because she could not imagine how much of fierce stares she would get and horrible words she would hear from people, from her. The consequence of what's gonna happen was just so clear and predictable. And it would definitely be tough and hard. What will happen? Will it be an awful beginning and it would just end right there and then? No, she thought. She had to take the risk, if not, how would she know what will happen? or she might just regret this for the rest of her life. It was a life-changing decision, and also a undeniably big challenge she's taking up. Two months ago till yesterday it was a no no to the question as it just seem too impossible, especially for her. Moreover, it was her first time. She thought and thought, and thought during the walk. Something just struck her that moment, and made her decide what's the best of her. Her feelings for him grew for the passed month, and if he was really leaving her, she knew she would be devastated for not letting him know how she felt. She's been giving him the cold shoulder for so long, and she's tired of it already. She did it because of what seems to be the right thing to do. But the right thing wasn't what she really wanted deep down inside her heart. Sushi was still enjoying herself, sniffing around, and she stops once in a while to pee. People say, dogs do that so that they will leave a mark and they will not get lost. It doesn't make sense, since she's not alone and no reason for her to do so. Maybe it's just a dog's way to enjoy herself and do what's a dog's gotta do. And he knew what he's gotta do. Suddenly, there was a opportunity right ahead. There was a bench, a wooden one, and the surface wasn't as wet already. He suggested that they sit there and talk for a while. He sat down first. To his surprise, the usual-cool-she is different. She sat close to him, as if hinting him, telling him something, but he wasn't too sure! And he didn't know what to do. He wished god was there to help him. She followed her instincts, or maybe she followed her heart. She was ready to face the consequence, she was ready to accept something new, and strange to her solitary life. She just felt close to him, but at the same time, she did not know what to expect. He took three deep breathes, it was so obvious until it made her nervous too. And finally, he popped the question. The moment... was so indescribable. The weather was cooling but she felt warmth in his embrace. He, on the other hand, placed his hand tightly on her waist, whispering to her, 'I'll make you happy, I promise...' She remembered those stolen moments, even until today... His first peck on her cheek, his first 'I love you', and... Her first love. Her first confession. Labels: memoirs 0 shouts. |